There was a time…

I feel….old.

Jeez, I’ve missed using random movie quotes to express my innermost desires and moods.  For those of you playing the home game, the title of today’s (long overdue) post came from the movie Lucky Number Slevin, starring Josh Hartnett, Lucy Liu, Morgan Freeman, and Ben Kingsley.  It was absolutely fantastic, a feat of expert storytelling that gives you just enough information to completely throw you for a loop at the end.  The second quote was my introduction and was taken from the first, and only, Pirates of the Caribbean movie that should have ever existed. Seriously. They should have stopped after that one.

So…September 10th. Ha. Yeah. That came and went a LONG time ago, didn’t it? There was a time that I looked forward to sitting down and blogging and creating and writing. I’ll be honest with, well, anyone that reads this (not that many people actually did): I’ve not even opened Minecraft since the last post.

Heck, I’ve barely even worked on my story since the last post.

I feel…old. Seriously, I was, and still am, completely drained. My inspiration dried up, my motivation dried up, life got hard, and I got weak.  I gave up on myself. I began doubting myself again. I began tearing myself down again.  Every negative and awful thing that I’ve ever done to myself started happening again.

My wife is the most fantastic person ever because she’s been there with me the entire time, and I’m sure that it wasn’t always the easiest.

I’m not sure why I felt inspired to finally sit down and type this post.  I have nothing to show off, nothing to be proud of.  I’m not looking for pity, or for support.  Strangely enough, though, the more that I type, the more that I admit, the better I feel.

Maybe I just needed an outlet, a way to process and release everything that has been building up within me. I’ve started focusing on myself again, making sure that I am getting healthier, both physically and mentally. My goal in March is to start getting back on a schedule. I’m not sure what it’s going to look like, but I’m coming back.  After all, we all need our daily dose of movie quotes and other random connections, right?

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